so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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