woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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