How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
