Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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