did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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