WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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