so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
