In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We are two peas in an std pod
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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