Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?

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  (718): I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life? http://tfl.nu/2jrg
  Replies (27) Good night (703) Bad night (3140) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!

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  (919): just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great! http://tfl.nu/724w
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  (917): View more from New York City

  you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

  (917): View more from New York City

  no it doesn't.

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  (917): you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere. (720): ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning... (917): no it doesn't. http://tfl.nu/6x89
  Replies (34) Good night (18194) Bad night (1177)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?

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  (740): So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot? http://tfl.nu/xzhr
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.

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  (304): Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck. http://tfl.nu/b4ti
  Replies (31) Good night (1379) Bad night (5960) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish

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  (727): I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish http://tfl.nu/fk29
  Replies (12) Good night (2710) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.

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  (248): You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual. http://tfl.nu/weeh
  Replies (4) Good night (2448) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.

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  (309): It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise. http://tfl.nu/xykk
  Replies (5) Good night (1931) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.

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  (559): The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/xrml
  Replies (6) Good night (2890) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.

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  (703): I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault. http://tfl.nu/ytww
  Replies (5) Good night (2591) Bad night (1060) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.

  (972): View more from Texas

  Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.

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  (817): Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift. (972): Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking. http://tfl.nu/jm0q
  Replies (23) Good night (2509) Bad night (542)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.

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  (305): Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault. http://tfl.nu/pad6
  Replies (3) Good night (429) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester

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  (607): Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester http://tfl.nu/4zys
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic

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  (269): Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic http://tfl.nu/ri8o
  Replies (10) Good night (554) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing

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  (203): this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing http://tfl.nu/0rfp
  Replies (5) Good night (418) Bad night (181) Order T-Shirt

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