I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.