Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
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Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
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I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.