like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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