i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
