I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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