how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
