my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
