and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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