wrigley field is MILF paradise
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
