Where are you?
In a non slutty way
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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