i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
