I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
