Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
