Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize