We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
