ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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