My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
