My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
