he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
