yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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