...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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