Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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