problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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