i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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