I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
where are my eyebrows?
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