His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Randomize
