My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
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don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
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He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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