these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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