1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
it's like iHOP with fire
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
