idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
