I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
