now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's blow job season.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
