Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
