is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
how drunk are you?
Several
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
