I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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