I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
