Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
did i walk over a car last night?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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