you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
