Already got asked if we're dating
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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