Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
