he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
sex in a hospital.. check
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
