best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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