we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
