Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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