you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
