then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
