Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
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True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
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Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
And then my night got REAL pukey
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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