Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
