Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
