fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
