One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Please, let me fuck your mom
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize