The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
